What Did I Do?

2016: The Year For Barack Obama's Revolution From The Top
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What Did I Do?

As a Barack Obama volunteer in 2007 and 2008 (I would not know much about 2008), you basically did two things. You knocked on doors. And you made phone calls. The guy had dumbed it down for the rest of us. While I mull about on foreign policy, here, you knock on doors. And you make some phone calls. If you might feel so enthused, here, knock on some more doors, make some more phone calls. It was almost patronizing. He read somewhere, 40% of Americans can’t point out the Pacific on a map. And so he be like, here, make some phone calls, and knock on some doors. Some of his most impassioned speeches were like, “If you will just knock on some doors for me, if you will just make some phone calls for me ……..” And then he would taper off. People be like, you got the looks. I am making the phone calls.

The more creative and original among us naturally gravitated towards the phone call regimen. But no, even there they gave you a script. Here, read this out. That took out the possibility of originality. There was no room for how you feel about Obama, and how it all came out to be, and what your particular story is that might inspire the person on the other end. None of that.

Too bad Donald Trump picked up a fight with Jeff Bezos or, for as uninspiring as he is, he could be hiring Amzon turks this season. Here, make some phone calls for me. He fills up auditoriums with struggling actors. Amazon turks are just a few blocks down that road.

I did not give Obama credit for the stimulus. I am like, he is filling a ditch he did not dig. The credit goes to Bush. This is too Soviet. But by the time health care reform showed up. You know when you volunteer for someone who becomes president, when you see him on TV, things like that, you feel a certain connection. I mean, I did meet the guy before he became president. When he signs a major bill, you feel like maybe you had something to do with. But then he soon became really unreachable. Health care was (and is) in this country so complex an issue that when he did get it passed, I am like, what did I do? Health care was supposed to be this issue. They have god, gay and guns. We have health care. It was supposed to just stick around permanently as an issue that you emote about. It was not supposed to be solved. No one was expecting any kind of resolution. And he goes ahead and solves. And I am like, what did I do? I did knock on some doors, and made some phone calls, but what is this?

Cuba really knocked me out. You don’t expect the Rocky Mountains to move. I was left scratching my head. What did I do? I did knock on some doors, and made some phone calls, but what is this?

I mean, I did take credit for Iowa. Like, deeply, personally. I met Michelle Obama at a Harlem event in the summer of 2007. I said, “You give us Iowa, we will give you New York. We will make it quick and painless for Hillary.” And she delivered oh so handsomely. And I am like, Michelle, we are talking! Not New York, but we almost delivered Brooklyn. We had Anthony Weiner worried. Hillary, you need to make one trip to Brooklyn. And she did. Make one trip. To Brooklyn.